“I am a Sunflower”

“Could you help me? I don’t want to be here any more…”

That was the plea that I heard when a 16 years old girl from Tak, a province in the northern Thailand, called me. For almost a month she had been calling me after she had found out she was pregnant during the middle of the last year of junior high school…

“He asked me to be a second wife.”

“What do you think about that?”I asked.

“I do not want to,”she replied with a sob.

“My dad changed his mind, he doesn’t want me to go; should I run away to you?”

“Don’t do that, it is not a good solution.” I replied somewhat frightened.

“What should I do?”

“Let me talk to your dad, and promise me you won’t go anywhere. I may come to pick you up.”

Over two months she had been in contact with me before we met.

We went to her village which is about five hours of driving away from Chiang Mai where we were. I knew since the beginning that her family and her teacher doubted about us. But I did not know if it was because we were a new organization, or because she was a very bright student and they might not have wanted to let her give up her studies, or if there was some thing else. I really did not know.

The tiny little girl who you could not tell was already five months pregnant kept looking at us while we were talking. The bright black eyes showed the light of hope…

Even though, we tried our best to talk to her father, all her family members, her relatives, the director of her school and her teacher, we failed and drove back without her.

However, three weeks later her family brought her to us. Fourteen people, including her grandmother, father, her mother, her father’s second wife, 7 brothers and sisters and two aunts unloaded from a pickup truck. Several of them were wearing their distinctive Hmong costumes. They all came to see if our place was legitimate. It was as though they wanted to know if they were leaving her in safe hands, or in the hands of someone who would traffic her into prostitution.

After she came to stay with us, there were so many things that began changing in her, both physically and mentally. In the first three months she was very quiet, but no one saw her cry. Physically it seemed she started growing so fast, maybe because she started to drink milk and eat healthy foods which she never had access to when she was home.

As she is very bright, she did a good job of whatever we offered at our center, but especially in academic issues. We saw a lot of potential in her. Yet she needed time to discover herself and become more confident.

After staying with us for 4 months, during the second week of May, she gave birth to a baby girl at around 2 am and she named her “Pra Chan” which means “The moon.” Her full name means “a wise woman”.

The new mother found, just like everyone else, that raising a child was a challenge.

We had to teach her to talk to the baby as much as she could, so that the baby would be able to develop her speaking skills easily when she grows up.

“I do not know what to talk to her about, and I have never done that before. It looks like I’m a little crazy talking to one who cannot respond.” She was a bit frustrated while expressing her feelings.

“Your child responds to you, look at her carefully, then you will see.”
Later on, she adjusted beautifully and her child can often be seen in a good mood and is very talkative.

The other day we shared about our happiness in the morning circle which we have every day before starting the day…

“Happiness for me is lying on my bed and reading a book, then suddenly hearing my child laugh...”

I had no doubt about that when I looked into her eyes…

We recently sat to talk with her about her future. Due to her financial situation, she was deciding to go to work after leaving Wildflower Home. But when we purposed we would help her find a scholarship, she agreed to go back to school and at least finish high school. She thinks she may want to go on to eventually become a math teacher. We were very happy to hear her final decision because it will be such a big loss if we let a bright girl like her end up in a sweat shop.

When we had an art therapy session I asked every one to compare themselves to a flower.

She mentioned, “I am a sunflower…”

Yes, we all thought about the many good qualities of a sunflower, how bold and proud it stands.

But wait a minute…

“I am a sunflower that the sun doesn’t care much about; I have to try my best to get the sun’s attention…”

Her statement struck me strongly. Like most Thai women who face the same situation as her, the wounds take such a long time to heal …

However, two months later she shared with us what she accomplished in living here.

“I think I’ve learned from my past experience, I’ve learned to grow up, learned to forget what has hurt me.”

I am not sure about how she is going to get the sun’s attention. But certainly, there will be a gentle moon light shining on her…from her own “Pra Chan,” and that light will take her a long way …